Secretly Broken
by TheDegrassi
Summary: Clare has swtiched schools for the second time this year. She causes trouble wherever she goes. During her first day she sees two boys looking at her. She doesn't want drama starting so soon so she tries to avoid them. But will she be able to resist?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this is my first Fanfic so constructional critism is very helpful right now. Please be honest, I don't want to write stories if people aren't going to like them. Okay Eli and Clare time!**

**P.S. This is pretty AU**

**Disclaimer- So yeah I don't own Degrassi or it's characters.**

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><p><em>Secretly Broken<em>

Clare woke up in the morning feeling dreadful. She didn't want to go to another different school. This was her third one this year. All she does is screw up something so big everytime that she can't show her face there again. She couldn't help it. It's like everything she touches, everyone she meets, everywhere she goes, she ruins it. She blames it on her terrible childhood. Her parents always busy and fighting. She had never really learned to, or cared for, being polite.

As her eyes barely started to open, she could hear her mom yelling into the phone. A common thing for mornings. Her mom just can't go a day without fighting with her dad. Clare shook off her sheets and covers and entered her closet. Without even looking, she grabbed a shirt and pants. She never cared about how she looked. She said she doesn't care about what people think about her. Lies. Everyone cares.

All she does is lie to herself. She tries to hide the pain of not having someone that cares for her by acting tough and not giving a crap about what's going on around her. But even she knows that she does. She does care. Clare tries not to believe it, but all she wants is to be that one girl. That one girl that every girl wants to be. That girl that every boy likes. It may always be in the back of her head. But it's there. No matter what she thinks. She still has those dreams that every other girl thinks about.

Clare changed clothes, brushed her hair, threw on some tough looking make-up on, and went down stairs to eat her breakfast. Her mom had already left. Clare never really ate her breakfast. She had this paranoia that her mom hated her so much and that she poisoned her food. She threw it in the garbage and walked to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and looked at herself one more time in the mirror. She didn't even know what she was looking at anymore. This wasn't the Clare inside of her. If she wasn't scared, she would glow with light as the true Clare showed. She had made such an image on herself that she didn't feel like she could change.

She picked up her book-bag laying on the couch and made her way to the door. As she opened the door, she hesitated to walk out. For once in a long time, Clare was scared. The first time she had switched schools it was no big deal. Why is it that she doesn't feel the same way now? But she sucked it up. She stepped out the door and started walking. Clare looked up at the bus stop but continued walking. There was no way she would ride the bus. Sharing anything was not her cup of tea.

It wasn't long of a walk before she got there. _'DEGRASSI' _written in large white letters above her head. Her heart was pounding, she didn't know what was happening. It's like she could feel that something was going to happen. She took a deep breath and walked up the stairs. She opened the door, then her knees turned to jello. She got so nervous! There were so many people. She already knew that most of them would hate her before she would have to switch schools again. Her legs moved one foot in front of another to the front office. She got her schedule and locker number and combination. She took another deep breath before she really walked through the halls for the first time.

So many eyes staring at her. She pretended not to care. The first period bell rang before she even reached her locker. But she would be lost for the entire day than ask for help from a teacher. After she had found it and put all of her stuff in, it took her another ten minutes to find her classroom. Clare walked in the room with her head up high. Shocked, Ms. Oh stopped her teaching to introduce her and herself.

"Oh my goodness. After all that time I thought you weren't coming." Ms. Oh said.

"Well I'm here aren't I?" Clare replied with sassiness. The class had giggled by her rude comeback.

"Well I am Ms. Oh." she said trying to show Clare who really had power in the classroom.

"Yeah, I already knew that." she snapped back

"Right. Anyway, this is Clare Edwards everyone." Ms. Oh said not quite happily anymore.

Clare kept a blank expressionless look on her face the entire time she was introducing her. After she had stopped talking she took the last empty seat. Right in the middle of the first row of desks, her most hated spot. But before she sat down, she saw two boys looking at her from across the room. One who was wearing black from his head down to his toes, not to mention pretty cute. And one who she swore could be a girl. She gave them a look and turned away. Right then and there she promised herself she wouldn't make trouble this early. She sat down still feeling their eyes on her. Clare could already feel who she wouldn't get along with.

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><p><strong>Please tell me what you think! Should I continue? Got any advice? Reviews would really help me with my writing. Give me your honest opinions!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Second Chapter! WHOO! Since my lack of experience with writing I don't expect this story to be one of those really long ones. Just a few more chapters if you think I should continue. I have one bad word in this chapter so you know!**

**Disclaimer: Degrassi is not mine (:**

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><p><em>Secretly Broken<em>

_Chapter 2_

All through first period, Clare just wanted everyone to stop staring at her. Especially those two boys. She kept her head low before the bell rang. Once it did she ran out the door, seeing who would follow. Of course 'they' did. They tapped her shoulder, she ignored. They said "Hello," she shook her head "no". After they had tried again, they walked in front of her stopping her 'path' She wasn't exactly sure where she was going.

"Get out of my way!" she yelled, turning heads while doing so.

"Whoa, calm dowm. We just wanted to say "hello"." said the one with the beanie hat.

"You stop me from walking just to say "hello?"

"That's just how we roll." replied the dark haired boy with a smirk. Clare's eyes sparkled when her eyes met his.

"My name is Clare by the way." she said quickly so there wouldn't be an awkward silence.

"Yeah, I'm Eli and this is Adam." Adam nodded in agreement.

Apparently they thought the conversation was over and just walked away. Clare stood there a moment to process what happened. She wasn't sure why they started talking to her. But now she felt more comfortable knowing two faces at school.

During her next class she sat in the back, trying not to draw attention to herself. All through the class she couldn't stop thinking about Eli. Though she didn't know much. He seemed so mysterious and Clare wanted to know more. This was too much for her to bear. She can't keep her promise. Her heart was pounding with excitement. So many mischievous thoughts in her head. _I remember those days. _She thought in her head. All those times when she would cause trouble for the thrill of it. She could feel old Clare crawling back into her life.

The rest of the day Clare spent most of her time looking for Eli and Adam. At the end of the day she felt like they were actually her friends. There was a warm fuzzy feeling in her heart. Clare didn't want to admit it, but it was true.

"Wow," she said to herself. "The three of us have no where else to be in school, we just end up together. Just like the pieces of a puzzle that don't fit." Right there she started smiling from ear to ear. She had said 'the three of us'. Oh yes, Clare had friends now. Most people wouldn't be as excited to have new friends. But to Clare this was a huge milestone.

When she got home, she ran to her room and locked the door. She had some deep thinking to do. Clare was asking herself so many questions, determined to answer all of them. _Why do I act like a total bitch? Am I trying to impress someone? Can I change? _Clare had realized that she can't blame her parents for her turning out so wild. It was her choice to be a terrible person. She was only trying to impress herself. She was showing herself she was strong and wouldn't back down in all the wrong ways. And lastly, she did think she could change. It would just take a lot of work. Too much work maybe?

Clare was tired and just sunk her head into her pillow. And like most nights, without dinner. She was excited for what would happen tomorrow. Until she thought that this could all just be hype. She was new, no friends, alone. Were Eli and Adam really her friends? Or were they just giving her sympathy? For once in a long time, Clare prayed that it wasn't the latter. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes. She clenched her fists and forced herself not to let any slip from her eyes. There she goes trying to impress herself. Clare didn't want to be alone anymore. Especially when she just felt how it felt like to have friends. Now she knew why she couldn't change. All this sense of denial. Clare was tired of feeling anything but happpy. She sucked it up and lay her head down.

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><p><strong>So a little on the short side. School really cuts into my writing time : Anyways, advice and reviews are always a big help!**


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